


The Taxidermist

by RaeSone99



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Gen, Team Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-22
Updated: 2013-11-07
Packaged: 2017-12-09 05:17:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/770411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeSone99/pseuds/RaeSone99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein one of Tony's almost one night stands comes back calling, much to McGee's delight. Now with second chapter. Take a peek, lemme know if you like what you see :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Un-beta'd so any and all mistakes are mine! Apologies in advance.

Tony squirmed uncomfortably while Ziva and McGee watched amused at McGee’s computer.

“So?” the woman, Stacy, purred as she leaned over Tony’s desk. Tony leaned back so far in his chair he practically fell backwards, stammering all the while.

“Thanks, for the uh, offer, really, but I have to decline!”

McGee and Ziva all but choked on their popcorn with laughter. For once Tony was on the other side of being hit on by an unwanted persistent suitor. Tony threw them a baleful look and they straightened up when Stacy glanced their way as well.

As they pretended to do important things Ziva took the time to ask McGee why Tony disliked the woman so much.

“Well, her place is filled with cats.”

Ziva remained confused, “But Tony likes cats…”

“Not dead ones, he doesn’t.”

Ziva’s mouth dropped open before she could recover, “Dead...Cats?...”

“Dead. Stuffed into poses,” McGee clarified, “Stacy, here, has stuffed every single cat she’s owned. Something about being missing being able to rub them,” he shrugged.

Ziva looked horrified.

McGee smirked, “Funny. Tony had the same look on his face when he told me.”

They both turned to watch Stacy lean even farther over the desk, so that Tony could just happen to notice her cleavage. An all too familiar flare of possessiveness shot through Ziva. She shook her head to focus on McGee’s voice.

“The last thing he told her before making a break for it, was that he’d call her.”

“He never did, did he?”

“Nope,” McGee popped the ‘P’ and they munched more popcorn as Tony ducked and dodged the advances of ‘crazy cat lady Stacy’. Ziva’s popcorn seemed to get harder and harder to swallow the longer she watched. She was sure that if there had been a sponge and a bucket nearby Stacy would have mounted Tony’s desk like it was a car hood.

 But maybe she was reading into things.

McGee didn’t seem to be bothered. In fact, if anything the opposite was true. But now that she knew the whole story she couldn’t help but feel sorry for Tony, even if it was his fault for not calling ‘Stacy the taxidermist’ back. Tony was standing, now cornered in his own office, holding nothing but a piece of paper as his defense.

“We have to help him!” hissed Ziva.

McGee shook his head, a sadistic grin on his face, “No way! I already called Ducky and Palmer up here. Abby couldn’t make it, she’s having trouble with the mass…spectro…meter” he trailed off as Ziva glared at him.

“Fine,” he sulked, “How are we going to do it?”

Ziva frowned for a second before a mischievous smile eased onto her face. The kind of smile McGee used to see on Tony’s face seconds before they went on some harebrained scheme that usually resulted in pain on his part. He eyed Ziva warily as she pushed off of his desk and began striding purposefully to Tony’s aid.

“Am I going to like this?”

Ziva pretended not to hear him. McGee shrugged and shoved another handful of popcorn in his mouth. Either way, good or bad, Tony was gonna be uncomfortable and that was fine with him.

Curving around the bullpen so that Stacy couldn’t see her Ziva picked up a stack of random papers off Dornaget's desk. She wasn’t exactly sure what her plan was; all her body knew was that Tony needed rescuing and it took off. She’d improvise once she got there.

Just as Tony, who was sweating bullets at the thought of having to admire the thickness of Mr. Fluffington’s fur again, opened his mouth, a ream of paper hit his desk with a thud. Stacy jumped and both of them turned to see who his savior was. His eyes zeroed in on the honey gold skin of her crossed arms, and jumped to her downturned mouth and pressed lips, her barely flared nostrils, and the daggers shooting out of her very stunning brown eyes. Even Ziva’s hair, crinkly today, which he liked, seemed to float. She was like an avenging Mossad angel…or Storm!  It was clear she was mad but for once her irritation didn’t seem to be aimed at him.

Although if he really thought about it, she hadn’t been angry at him specifically for quite some time now... It must be a record. Lately her looks toward him were different. Amused, indulgent, mildly annoyed, and something else that if he hadn’t had years of memorizing her expressions he’d miss…Something softer. He was able to see it better late at night when it was just the two of them alone in the bullpen...

With a jerk Tony came back to himself. He was standing in the corner of his office. Cornered by Stacy in the crowded bullpen where he couldn’t shout for help. But Ziva had come to his rescue; Ziva, who was staring at him in mild amused concern. She must have said something and he’d missed it. Stacy’s head whipped from him to Ziva, to the paper stack and back again.

“You okay there Tiger? You kind of zoned out there for a minute. I mean, I know it’s a lot of paper work but I’m sure you can ask Gibbs to lay off some. I mean you’re his very special agent,” Tony grit his teeth at the baby talk voice she used to describe his occupation. “You work hard enough as it is. Maybe you could get Ziva or Tim to take some of it off of your hands. I mean…”

Stacy rambled on and on, but at Gibbs’ name all three agents surreptitiously glanced around. If Gibbs found his team like this they were done for. Tony met Ziva and then McGee’s eyes so they understood.

‘Get Rid of Stacy’.

He glanced at Ziva again, and then forced himself to look at the admittedly hot, but crazy blonde bombshell that was Stacy. He cleared his throat to stop her yammering.

“Stacy. I should have called you back but I didn’t because I don’t want to see you anymore. We can be friends and coworkers but that’s all.”

Stacy frowned, confused “Why?”

Tony stared at her, not knowing how to say ‘because you’re a crazy cat lady and I don’t like you’ politely. But Ziva took it out of his hands.

“Aren’t you seeing someone, Tony?” Off to his right Tony heard McGee choke on his popcorn and surprise from what sounded like Ducky and Palmer,

“Tony has a girlfriend?”

Tony grimaced and called out,

“You’re not as quiet as you think you are!” to shut them up, “And yes, for your information I am seeing someone.  I just didn’t mention it because it’s sort of new and I didn’t want you guys to ruin it!”

Immediately he heard more snickers from Palmer and Ducky and what was probably a sarcastic comment from McGee; he couldn’t tell because he couldn’t _hear_ them well anymore.

_‘Yeah, thirty seconds ago new’,_ he thought as made sure not to look at Ziva. Why make up a relationship? Was this really the only quick way to get rid of Stacy? He couldn’t understand it until Stacy reached up, and put her hand on his shoulder. Ziva’s eyes flashed and although Stacy didn’t _see_ the death glare she certainly felt it because she snatched her hand back with a shudder.

“Oh well! You can’t blame a girl for trying!” Stacy exited his office with haste and in a voice that was a little too chipper she called out,

“Guess all the good ones are taken!”

She didn’t stay long enough to hear Ziva’s low response, “Yes. He is taken.”

Tony exhaled a sigh of relief and then he realized Ziva was still standing there.

Unsure of what to do now he resorted to the tried and true. Grinning roguishly at her he half joked, “So what time should I pick you up tonight?”

To his great surprise she actually considered it and then said, “9pm. I have to file the paper work for Abby’s mass spectrometer repair.”  

Tony’s jaw and eyebrows went in completely different directions, as Ziva turned back towards her desk. They were actually going out, just the two of them?  His hand snagged out and gripped her arm, halting her progress.

“Are we…exclusive…now?” The words made his body tingle in a not unpleasant way. He knew her well enough to know that if she was willing to break Gibbs’ infamous Rule number twelve, she wasn’t going to do so for anything less than his total focus.

He wanted to make sure he had the same.

No more Ray’s, no more Michael’s, no more dead men walking, no more Langer-leering (somehow the term had stuck even after Langer’s death as short hand for eying any male office candy).

Angling her body so that the peanut gallery couldn’t see she slowly moved her arm out of his grip in such a way that for a second their hands and then fingers interlocked before separating. She stared at him in a way that made him sure that his body had melted, leaving only his soul. He lifted his chin and stared back with equal force. This was one test Anthony DiNozzo Jr. was going to pass.

“Yes.”

Happiness lit through him and he couldn’t help but grin, especially when she responded in kind before returning to her desk. They busied themselves with paper work neither of them saw.

 After a minute of silence McGee, Palmer, and Ducky broke up their party with loud laughter and McGee’s focus returned to the now absent Stacy. He looked disappointed he’d missed her exit.

“Gee Ziva, what did you do to her?”

Gibbs swept through.

“Nothing nearly as bad as this next victim. Grab your gear! We’re headed down to the Marina!” McGee jumped up,

“On it Boss!” and ran after Gibbs.

Tony left with Ziva, “I’m curious too. Is the death glare thingy a Mossad technique?” he asked.

Ziva paused, and then smirked, “No… jealous girlfriend technique.”

Tony beamed, replaying what she’d just said in his mind, and reveling in the fact that for once it applied to him. They got into the elevator together and shared a secret smile just before Gibbs began briefing them.

*Foof*


	2. Bonus?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So originally the this fic had more to it but I chickened out and didn't post the whole thing. But now I'm genuinely curious as to how it would change the story if I included this section. So if you don't mind please let me know what you think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't bore you by reposting the whole thing, just the sentence before I cut out and the sentence where it cuts back in. :) Also un-beta'd but that's nothing new haha

_He was able to see it better late at night when it was just the two of them alone in the bullpen._

Just last night in fact, after he'd crossed the Great Divide between their desks, they were discussing the end of a case; asking each other hypothetical questions about the future. Her lips had quirked into the smile he loved and she'd leaned into his shoulder her hair brushing his ear.

His heart stuttered as he drank in her presence. She was all soft and rounded edges now. Her hair smelled like pomegranate, she smelled like vanilla. Vanilla, because the last gift from Ray was a vanilla scented lotion...further proof Ray was wrong for her. If it had been him he would have gotten her something more stimulating, like passion fruit, or falafel.

He smiled quietly up at the stars until he became quite aware of her eyes on his face. Perhaps memorizing this moment. He knew he wanted to, Cam Jansen style, *click*. He turned to catch her in the act and there it was. The softness. Last night he'd dared to call it love. And there in the steady glow of her desk light, his heart full, he'd dared to ask her,

"Ziva?" he whispered. He meant it as a question but it came out like a statement of confirmation.

"Tony," she'd whisperd back.

He loved the way she said his name, and the motion to brush the hair back from her face was so familiar because he'd imagined it a thousand times and done so dozens. But this time his hand didn't drop and his heart leapt with joy because he knew as well as she that she could have blocked his arm and put him in a submission hold in her sleep...and yet she didn't and he thought it may have had something to do with how her own hand was cupping his chin pulling him closer. When his eyes almost crossed, and he was sure he couldnt miss, he closed his eyes and was rewarded with the soft firmness of her lips on his, her hands in her hair, her body flush with his. There was an urgency, a demanding, a hungering for more as they began a rhythm that only have been broken by...a scream?

Ziva broke away suddenly as the shrill tone broke into their consciousness. Tony raced to his desk and grabbed his gun. He nodded at her and she nodded back, paused, and to his great pleasure stole a kiss from him. 

"Just in case," she murmured, her eyes dancing.  As they moved into a low synchronized run he allowed himself a small smile. 

It turned out to be Abby, who, thinkng she was alone, let out a scream of frustration at the slowness of her computer, and then another when Tony and Ziva bust the door in.

'I heard it was good for restoring balance and since I was alone, or thought I was, I thought I'd try...it...Wait, why are you two here?" she rasped.

Tony glanced at Ziva who shrugged, and they both holstered their weapons.

"We, uh..." Ziva began.

"Never left," Tony finished.

Abby stared at him in a way that made him extremely self conscious about his hair. 

"Okaay, well this," she gestured at the machine, "isn't happening so I'm gonna head out. You guys coming?"

Tony huffed. Well they couldn't very well stay  _now_ could they?

Ziva brushed his arm with her hand in a calming gesture.

She too was annoyed, but as they followed Abby and her chatter up to their desks, and then to the parking deck Abby waved goodbye, hopped on her Harley and sped off.

Tony and Ziva walked on in silence, stopping at her car, which Tony couldn't help but notice had a new scratch. 

_Probably from her maniac driving._

He smiled and Ziva, seeing where he was looking, exclaimed, 

"It was dark, and I had the right of way!"

"I bet," Tony chuckled.

Ziva frowned at him but then she smiled too. There was a lull as somehow the same feeling of closeness surrounded them again. Ziva stepped forward, 

"We could go back?"

Misunderstanding Tony growled, "I don't want to go back."

He took her hands in his; they were cold even in gloves from the November air. 

"I meant go back inside, Tony."

"Ah, well, I'm happy right where I am," he stepped closer to her.

"Outside in the cold? You hate the cold, it's part of why you moved to D.C."

She was babbling and Tony thought she was adorable.

"No, Ziva. I'm happy here," he leaned closer,

"with..."

closer still,

"you," and took back the kiss she'd stolen from him earlier, warming her lips with his. 

"Mmm, that is going to take some getting used to."

Tony pulled back uncertainly, "If it's too weird we could..." he dropped off wondering if it was too late to drown his embarrasment in liquor. Ziva grabbed his arm a little tighter than necessary but Tony didn't mind because it meant she wanted him there.

"What I meant was..." She hesitated, suddenly shy, but he understood.

"Tomorrow?"

She'd nodded and pressed into him, her arms around his neck, and kissed him within an inch of his life. 

In the back of his mind he wondered if she found almost killing him amusing, and sure enough he felt her lips curve into a smile.

They'd left that night in seperate cars and everything had been going well today until Stacy showed up. 

Stacy!

_With a jerk he came back to himself._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you missed it, Cam Jansen is an investigator from a kids book series, she'd memorize crime scenes like they were photographs and she was a camera, thus the *click*. Great series if you ever get the chance to check it out :D
> 
> It's a little clunky to me but please let me know what you think! Is it better as it is or should I include this chapter in the main story? Or even make it it's own fic?
> 
> Much love and I hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Dornaget...I can see him now, standing at his desk trying to figure out where all of his forms got to...  
> I'm seriously just trying to make it through these two weeks of no NCIS. I miss the team!


End file.
